your parents love me but you hate me
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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