i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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