can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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