he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
