It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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