I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Randomize
