I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
