So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
