There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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