i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize