Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I didn't notice because vodka
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
