508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter