coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."