i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.