just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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