I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
