so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
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I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
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And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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