So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
