Well apparently he's into motor boating.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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