She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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