Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
