i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
