That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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