Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
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At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
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You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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