is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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