Tell her she can't have a vagina
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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