y did u give ur computer a hand job?
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I miss vodka workout Fridays
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
