Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
