So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
