you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
