I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
