no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
