you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
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