hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize