How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize