let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
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