i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Dignity is for republicans.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
