i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
4 words: hood of his car
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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