The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
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