At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
