The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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