Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
