She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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