My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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