R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
