Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
The cops high fived after they tackled you
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
