So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Randomize
