____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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