The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
