I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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