C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
