I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
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