but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
