just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
