it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
