dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
