walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
