Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
