found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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