these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
